Having one child can bring about so many emotions, joy, happiness, excitement. Then you find out you're having another child and all of sudden you're faced with shock and anxiety. Perhaps you're overjoyed at your child having another sibling to play, with which brings you joy and relief?! Either way, Mummy, you are going to be dropped in it!
When I found out I was having twins, I was gobsmacked. For hours I could not speak a word, only smile with sarcasm at the testimony God had decided to bless me with. If I'm honest, and that's what this blog is about, I was anxious and confused. I was ready to accept the challenge of becoming a Mum of 2 under 2, but was I ready?. How was I going to bring TWO children home from the hospital and merge them into my happily settled household? That's when it dawned on me that I would need two of everything, car seats, bottles, vests, toys...damn. Despite those underlying worries, I knew that He wouldn't give me something that I could not handle, and I was going to prove to everyone, to my kids, my husband and MYSELF that I can be a Mum Boss!
I would love to hear how you felt or how you have coped if you're a Mum/Carer of 2 kids under 2! Drop your advice and experiences in the comments below - it takes a community to raise a child.
I have had people tell me, "Oh, you don't know how it is to have 2 kids under 2 because your children are the same age!", or "Oh, but you have two girls so it must be easier". Perhaps my experience of having twins is different in comparison to children a year apart; however, I believe the journey is very similar, if not more difficult, considering they were my first children. In the last two years, I have learnt how to adapt, how to be creative, and I've learnt how to be patient. Motherhood can be exhausting and draining; however, I revel in the success I've had so far but I'm actually still just winging it! FYI, you can wing it too, so below Motherhood can be exhausting and draining; however, I revel in the success I've had so far but I'm actually still just winging it! FYI, you can wing it too, so below I have listed a few tips to help you boss your way through managing 2 kids under 2!
1. Self-care
The first bit of advice I can give you is to start your day as you mean to go on. Try to tend to yourself and your personal care early if you can e.g. have your shower, have some breakfast. At the end of the day, if you don't feel fresh, revitalised or have energy, you might struggle a little later. It's so easy to chose tidying up toys over combing out your hair, but honestly, try to give yourself some normality before the storm hits during the day. When my twins were little, it would be an accomplishment to actually make it into the shower before 3pm; but as I became more confident in multi-tasking with two kids, I could get so much more done for myself.
2. Preparation & Routine.
If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail Sandra. This is the most important tip for coping with 2 kids under 2. Firstly, try to be organised and build some routine into your day. You don't need to become an Army General; however, it's beneficial to incorporate some structure into how you want to spend your day and highlighting what you want to get done. Unfortunately, kids don't understand the concept of time, but for us, it always feels like there is just not enough time in the day. Start by setting some goals for the day - e.g. wash one pile of laundry, cook some lunch, set aside play time and nap times. It's also good to think ahead if you're planning to leave the house. Make sure you've packed a bag for both kids with the essentials (especially if they are different ages). It useful to pack meals, snacks, nappies blankets, wipes and toys. Don't forget to pack those little extra's for yourself, like your lipgloss and your sanity. My secret tip when preparing to leave the house is to always set a pretend time. Let's say I need to go out at 2pm, I tell myself I'm going at 13:30. This is because these sneaky kids always find a way to surprise me and delay my exit out of the house; I mean, how convenient is it for you to poop now, like right now?!
3. Entertainment
When you have 2 kids under 2; your biggest worry might be how to occupy their time and keep them busy and settled at the same time. Firstly, it's helpful to find activities to suit each child. If you have a baby, they might love musical toys and bright lights; whereas, the older toddler may prefer more arty crafts and role play. This enables each child to feel comfortable with how they spend their time e.g. a toddler may not want to do baby activities and may become easily irritable or moody. Secondly, try to find ways for your eldest child to feel involved and acknowledged. Sometimes resentment or envy may kick in, and it is important to show that you are still present, e.g. perhaps ask the eldest child to help you around the house with laundry or cooking, or when baby is napping, use this time to play with the older child. Alternatively, you could also encourage the eldest child to engage in more independent play on their own. Overall, by finding activities everyone can enjoy throughout the day, those little fingers will not be as bored. From my experience with the twins, as they are the same age they often they enjoyed the same toys or activities. When they were younger, I used to buy them two of the same toys. Thankfully, this allowed them to both have a sense of belonging and not feel that sense of jealousy over their sister. As they grew older, I began to buy a variety of individual toys, which has since taught them the act of kindness and sharing with each other (*most times >.<). Presently, they are now able to enjoy playtime, and this could be with myself, with each other or lone play. The variety of toys and activities they are able to engage in has definitely empowered them develop their own character, likes and strengths.
4. Break
Sometimes, you have to tell yourself that you have done the best you can for today. Sit your butt down and take a breather. Not only do you need a break, but so do the kids, which is why nap time is essential. Use nap time to your advantage; for instance, if at least one child is able to rest, that can free up one of your hands to do other tasks which you may have put aside. If you're lucky, and both kids get some rest, by all means be an opportunist! Either get some Zzzz's yourself, or use this time to quickly whip up dinner, clean the house, call a friend.
You need to remind yourself that you are juggling two, and I give props to parents who even have more kids. Ultimately, sometimes you don't realise how heavy the load is until you put it down. You work and push yourself to meet every single need in a timely manner, and it's only when you get a chance to breathe that you realise you were holding your breath. My advice to you is to do what you can, with what you have, when you can! Put aside everyone else's expectations and the idea of being a perfect mother, and just be a good one! Create a to-do list, decide what's important and do that first, and the rest you will always find time for. Make sure you're getting some time to rest, take an opportunity for self-care, treat yourself, or have some adult-only time - You deserve it!
5. Accept Help
I'm not sure why Mum's/parents/carers, believe they can be superwoman 24/7?! Even Hero's need to recoup or call on support from their side-kicks! Not everyone has a support system in place, e.g. friends or family that are on-hand ready to help; nevertheless, if you DO and they are offering to help in some shape or form, SAY YES! You are not weak, incapable, incompetent or lazy for accepting support; you're simply making life that little bit easier for both yourself and the children and you will appreciate it later down the line. For those who don't have as much support around, please don't forget that there are services or community groups available that you can get in touch with. Why not join an online forum e.g. Babycentre or Mumsnet, or search online for groups in your local area?
I love watching my girls grow up sassier and smarter by the day, and they have taught me more about myself than I thought I knew. I've learnt that I can be strong, resilient, brave, flexible...but most of all I know that despite my struggles, I have attempted to overcome every hurdle and be the best Mum I can be, even if I'm not perfect. Having had two kids under 2, I can honestly say it has been a roller coaster, but I've had the most fun on this ride so far.
How have you all been coping with 2 kids at home? Drop your best tips and advice in the comments :) and please like and share this post with others.
